MBA admission essay outline and essay excerpt
This essay is based on the information sent in by a reader of our blog network.
Essay outline:
I. Introduction
A. Describe nervous feeling before seminars
B. Finding comfort and confidence in thoughts of friends and family
C. Friends see me through: my commitment to studies, passion for soccer, devotion to others, and drive to be best person I can be
D. Intention of applying to _______________________
II. My commitment to my education
A. My friends would describe me as a person who takes education seriously.
B. High school days in _____________________
C. Going to _____________ for _________________
D. Wanting to continue my studies at a place that can better prepare me (MBA PROGRAM)
E. How my love for education urged me to become a student teacher in the ___________________ School District.
III. My love for soccer
A. Any of my friends would proudly describe me as someone who is passionate about soccer.
B. Experience in personal soccer training in Elite Soccer
C. Experience as Assistant Men’s Varsity and Junior Varsity Soccer Coach, __________ High School
D. Experience as Collegiate Women’s Soccer Goalkeeping Coach, ___________________
E. Through my experiences in soccer, I have learned work ethic, focus, cooperation.
IV. My devotion to others and drive to be the best person I can be
A. I love helping others and do whatever I can for them.
B. Coaching and student teacher experiences have taught me to work with others and take an active role in helping others become better at what they do.
C. In my devotion to helping others, I try to engage myself in activities and events, so that I may be the best person I can be and, in return, help others be the best that they can be.
D. My friends would probably tell you that I am a bit of an overachiever and that I expect a lot of myself.
VI. Tying in the best person I can be to application to ________________
A. The reason that I am applying to ________ is that I believe this is the institution that will give me the best education, training, and experience necessary to pursue my future goals and ambitions.
B. I put myself in the best possible position to help others.
C. I don’t exactly know if I have high expectations of myself or if I am an overachiever, but I would be glad to agree if that were the small price to pay to for a group of friends that knows and loves me just the way I am. (an education-enjoying, soccer-loving, community-driven person always looking for ways to share what I have learned and experienced along the way).
Essay Excerpt:
As I approach the conference hall for a coaching seminar, my heart starts racing, my mouth begins to dry, and my palms begin to sweat. It is a situation that I know all too well throughout my experience as a soccer coach. I take a deep breath and, suddenly, my nerves became still as I think of my friends and family who have always supported me and been confident in me. These are the people who know me best and the people whom I treasure most– the ones who have stood by my side no matter what. They are the same people who understand my passion for soccer, my commitment to education, my devotion to helping others, my drive to be the best person that I can be and, at times, my tendency toward high expectations. Now, I face one of my biggest challenges as I apply to the ________________. Once again, I seek calm in the support and confidence of my friends and relatives.
